In your marriage, there is no means of preventing conflict. It's not a matter of eliminating conflict, but how you cope with conflict because every marriage has its tensions. Conflict may result in a process that generates unity or isolation. When conflict happens, you and your partner have to choose how you will behave.
Attach some bad habits and interesting peculiarities now, put in many standards, and then turn the heat up a little with life's everyday trials.Conflict need to solved .
Steps in Solving a Conflict in Marriage
Step 1: Dispute resolution includes acknowledging, recognizing, and responding to the disagreements.
In marriage, one reason we have conflict is the appeal between opposites. A task-oriented person usually marries someone who is more people-oriented. Those who travel at breakneck speed through life tend to end up with partners who are slower-paced. It's weird, so that's part of why you married the one you did. Your partner has brought a richness, flavor, and distinction to your life that it hasn't had before.
But after a period (sometimes a little while) of being together, the charms become repellent. You may disagree over trivial irritations, such as how to squeeze a toothpaste tube correctly, or about fundamental conceptual disagreements in managing finances or raising children. You can find that your experiences and attitudes are so distinct that you wonder how and why, in the first place, God put you together.
Understanding these distinctions is critical, and then embracing and adapting to them. And like Adam embraced Eve's gift from Heaven, you are called to accept His gift. God has given you a partner that can fulfill you in ways that you have not yet known.
Phase 2: Dispute resolution requires selfishness to be defeated.
In marriage, all our differences are magnified because they nourish our greedy, immoral heart, which is undeniably the main source of our conflict.
Since Adam and Eve, keeping peace in marriage has been tough. Two people will never expect to achieve the unity of marriage as God meant, starting their marriage together and seeking to go their own greedy, separate ways. More than 2,500 years ago, the prophet Isaiah aptly depicted the issue when he described simple human selfishness like this: "All of us have gone astray like sheep, each of us has turned to his own way" (Isaiah 53:6).
You must give up the will to the will of another to achieve oneness. But you must first give up your will to Christ to do this, and then you will find it necessary to give up your will to your wife's will.
Stage 3: Conflict mediation means pursuing the other party.
Romans 12:18 states, "If it is possible, live in peace with all men, as much as it depends on you." The more I live, the more I understand how complicated these words are for many couples. Peacefully living requires seeking peace. It implies taking the initiative to settle a complicated disagreement instead of waiting for the first action to be taken by the other party.
Pursuing a conflict's settlement requires putting aside your pain, rage, and resentment. It means not having to lose heart. My challenge to you is to "keep your relationships up-to-date." In other words, pledge to stay with your family, as well as your children, parents, colleagues, and friends in strong fellowship every day. By isolating you from someone you care for, don't let Satan win a victory.
Step 4: Solving conflict in a marriage involves loving confrontation.
Blessed is a marriage in which both partners know that the other is a true friend who can listen, consider, and work through some difficulty or disagreement. It needs a loving confrontation to do this well. Approaching your partner with dignity and tact requires wisdom, patience, and modesty.
Step 5: The remedy to dispute requires forgiveness.
They will fail no matter how hard two people want to love and please each other. Failure comes to harm. And the only ultimate cure for hurt is the healing salvation of forgiveness.
The key to preserving an open, loving, and stable marriage is to ask for forgiveness immediately. And the desire to do so is related to each individual's relationship with God.
Forgiving involves abandoning bitterness and the ability to punish. You let the other person off the hook with an act of your will. And you don't do this as a Christian under duress, scratching and yelling in outrage. Instead, as Paul advised (Ephesians 4:32), you do so with a benevolent spirit and love.
Phase 6: Settling dispute involves the return of a blessing for an accusation.
First of all, offering a blessing means standing back or just refusing to retaliate if your partner gets offended. Breaking your innate inclination to lash out, strike back, or tell your partner off is just as straightforward as changing the direction of the Mississippi River. You can't do it without the aid of Heaven, without surrendering to the force of the Holy Ghost.
It means doing well too. Often doing good only takes a few words said quietly and gently, or even a touch, a smile, or a kiss on the back.
In the end, being a blessing means finding happiness, genuinely following it. You pursue oneness, not solitude, as you eagerly attempt to forgive.
In our conflicts, God intends to test our trust, create resilience, refine us, and add glory to Himself. This is the promise he offers us that our conflicts will genuinely be approached as an opportunity to improve our faith and glorify God.
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