We all have been in many arguments, and I guess most of the time, they didn't end well; we either lose it or come out as a winner but have damaged the relationship a lot of times. Today I want to present to you ten proven ways that you can use to win any argument without damaging the relationship with the person you are arguing at all.
Plus, if you stick till the end, ill give you a bonus tip.
1)BEGIN IN A FRIENDLY WAY
The Tone built at the beginning of the argument will determine the direction the discussion would flow. If you make it seem as if you are arguing with your enemies, it will be tough to change it later on.
The impression that you will give in the beginning plays a significant role and will determine the outcome of the argument. So, begin a friendly way. Make it clear that you're seeking only friendship.
The use of gentleness and friendliness will make it much easier to persuade. On the other hand, if you lose your temper and use one or two provocative words, you might feel better inside for expressing yourself, but you have lost all of your chances to change its mind.
2)USE INDIRECT METHODS
The first thing you should know is that you can't win an argument by merely using facts. No matter how are your points no one wants to feel inferior or a loser, if you think you can win an idea by simply presenting your facts, then you clearly don't understand human psychology.
Remember that humans are creatures of emotions and not creatures of logic.
What drives most of the people are their emotions, and by showing people that you are secure over them that your knowledge is more accurate than theirs, you make them feel inferior that will encourage them to defend themselves in any possible way.
I'm sure that you found yourself in a situation where you presented all of the facts, but you saw the other person defending themselves, although it's clear that his or her argument doesn't make sense at all.
So never try to win the argument in an exact direct way but instead use indirect methods to lead you open into your target, and that's what the rest of the talk is.
3)SHOW RESPECT TO THEIR OPINION
The first thing that can trigger the emotions of anger and jealousy is when you say to someone that 'You are wrong!'.It directly sends a clear message that you're challenging his intellectual abilities. It sends a message that 'I'm here to prove to you that you are wrong that I'm smarter than you.'
You are turning the conversation into a challenge, and people naturally resist when they're challenged. So, you're encouraging him to fight.
Changing someone's mind is pretty hard, and there are any circumstances, so why are you making it even harder? If you want to prove something, don't let anyone know about it, especially your opponent. Just do it quietly so that it doesn't seem like you are doing that.
Even if the person makes a statement that you think is entirely wrong, start by saying, 'You are making a solid point, but I have a little different opinion. I mean I can be wrong but let's look at the facts. again, no one is going to resist that they are more likely to cooperate with you if you say something like that.
Few people are logical. Most people are biased and driven by emotions like jealousy, fear envy, and pride, plus most people are not ready to change their beliefs, and if you attack their satisfaction, then you will never win them.
4)IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT
If an argument is a matter of emotions, imagine what message you are sending by admitting your mistake. You are making it clear that you are not here to challenge; you are not trying to show that you are smarter in some way or another, but rather what interests you is the truth, and you are ready to step back if you find yourself wrong.
That will encourage the other person to admit that they're wrong as well. If they even are, it will enable them to look at the situation from your perspective, which increases your chances to win them through the way of thinking.
let me explain it with you in a little example;-
'Imagine if your mom asked you for a chore, but you were lazy or forgot it. When does she ask you why you haven't done it yet? If you apologized for being reckless and admitted that it was your fault, she will be more likely to spare you Now, imagine if you resisted that would trigger her ego, and most probably you be in big trouble.'
5)GET THE OTHER PERSON SAY YES IMMEDIATELY
Don't start by discussing the things that you defer but rather begin by emphasizing the things that you'll agree and spend most of your time reminding your opponent about all the things that you agree. Make it clear to the other person that you almost agree on everything that you're striving for the same thing, and your only difference is a small little detail that doesn't matter much.
This is an enormous psychological effect on the person you're talking to. It undermines the importance of the argument that you're having and clears up the emotions of envy and pride.
On the other hand, when you start by discussing your differences, you're encouraging the opponent to say 'No.' Saying 'No' might seem like not a big deal, but it has the same psychological effect as saying 'Yes.' It does the opposite and arises the emotions of pride and envy, so stay consistent with that difference.
6)LET THE OTHER PERSON TALK
What people usually do is when they start an argument, they keep talking without giving a chance to the other person to express their point of view. That's what you find in most of the ideas. Both sides are just blasting on each other.
What you have to understand is that taking more doesn't increase your chance to win the argument. Remember the person you're talking to wants to share his opinions as much as you do, and if you don't give them that chance, you will find them continually interrupting yours. If you are not ready to listen to the other person, then don't go into the argument in the first place. As it said;-
IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO LISTEN, DON'T START AN ARGUMENT
Long story short, Always gives enough time to the other person to talk. Don't interrupt while they are talking, let them say everything so that once it's your turn to talk, they will have nothing to say and will listen intensively to you.
Even if they say something that you strongly disagree, be patient till the end and expressive disagreements once it's your turn to talk.
7)USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
People don't like to be told what to do. If you ask someone to do something, they're more likely to do that then if you command them to do so. That's because it touches their ego as you tell someone what to do. You're sending a clear message that you're better than them. that you're presenting yourself in a higher position. And trust me, no one wants to feel inferior or below someone.
People are more likely to change their opinions if they come to that conclusion by themselves, so isn't it wiser to make suggestions and let the other person think out the decision by themselves. That's why we don't often feel comfortable when someone is trying to sell something to us because it seems as if they are commanding as to do something.
A good salesperson will never try to sell you something directly but instead will try to get to know you better
start a great conversation and then give you a little gesture on why you should buy that product so that it seems like it's you who came out of that conclusion and not because someone told you.
As it's said "You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him to find it within himself" (Galileo)
8)SEE FROM OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW
Try honestly to see things from another person's point of view no matter how logical is your opinion, the way you deliver something matters most.
Each person understands things differently because we all came from different backgrounds. it's tough to change someone's mind if you can't see the argument from his perspective. Maybe what makes something like that is because of the experience he had in the past that shaped the idea about that matter.
There is always a reason why people have a different point of view. The moment you understand what exactly drives them to something like that, you will be able to shape your argument to appeal to his understandings of the matter. Try honestly to ask yourself, 'What would I do if I was in his place?' you will do a great favor to yourself and make your job much more comfortable.
9)BE SYMPATHETIC
We all have been in that situation where we knew that we are on the wrong side of the argument, but the only thing that kept us defending our opinion was our ego.
We didn't want to feel like we have lost, so we try to dig every corner to come out with a reason to keep the argument going, and it happens with everyone simply because we are all influenced by our ego and pride so why don't we take a different approach? Why don't you show the opponent that you would do the same thing if you were in his place?
Words such as 'I don't blame you for feeling like that if I were you, I would do the same thing' .that would soften his ego and will encourage him to drop down his opinion.
CONCLUSION
Even if you apply all these tricks, there is still a high chance that you will not be able to change someone's mind entirely as most people stick to their beliefs even if you're hundred percent right.
And for the bonus tip, you should consider reading 'The Art of Being Right by Arthur Schopenhauer' Trust me it will significantly increase your odds.
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