I was 11 years old when while helping my mother in the kitchen, my maternal uncle asked from behind whether he always enters the kitchen, go out, and play. I remember this incident to this day because his tone did not show concern for me, but scorn, as if I was doing some secondary work. After that, it was years before I even stepped back into the kitchen. When I grew up, I realized that the problem was not with working in my kitchen, it was in my maternal uncle's thinking, the same thinking that we often see in society, the same patriarchal thinking that frowns on girls driving and lifting weights.
1 Takes Why to say supportive and caring:-
Even though patriarchy is the gift of 'Pitra' i.e. men, it has harmed women as much as men. From childhood it is decided that if you are a man then you have to behave like this, you can have these hobbies, you have to eat things and not that, even what clothes a man can wear, it is also decided by patriarchy. Is. What did you say, don't you agree? So remember the last time you saw a boy crying openly, doing Kathak, wearing a bright pink shirt. Even the name Golgappa has been associated with girls. Even today we would be uncomfortable seeing a girl riding a bike or when a husband helps his wife in the kitchen then why is she being given labels like 'supportive' or 'caring' when she is just doing her household chores? It is happening.
2 Even men can't live openly:-
This kind of thinking makes us men hollow from the inside, because we feel a lot, but can't express it openly in order to fit into the mold of society. Neither are able to cry openly, nor can laugh openly, nor are able to love openly, nor are they able to take care of their health or body. Because of not being able to express our feelings, our sons talk to their fathers only about the weather, exams, and job, while we want to ask them father are you fine, are you taking your medicines on time? We want to hug him and tell him how much we love him, but if we had never seen our father doing this, I would not have had the courage. When they grow up, a strange relationship is established with the father, in which there are two men who can die for each other, but cannot say 'I love you to each other. This emotional distance of sons from their fathers is also due to patriarchy.
3 Can't accept rejections:-
We are taught from childhood that if you are a man then you are strong and powerful, and you should be full of masculinity and this false masculinity becomes the reason for our frustration with us men. This is the reason why we are not able to accept rejection or failure because we are never told about being emotionally strong. Perhaps this is the reason why manly weakness dispensaries are open on every street corner in our country, but where are the emotional weakness dispensaries for men? And even if there are, we don't want to go there. Not some, according to data from the National Library of Medicine, where men are 1.8 times more likely to commit suicide than women, but they are much less likely than women to seek mental health help. We consider even asking for help as a weakness and can a man ever be weak?
4 Equality for all:-
But don't be disheartened, the situation has not deteriorated that much yet. A ray of light has started appearing at the end of this dark tunnel. Today's generation seems to be more conscious of the problems of men. She talks openly about men's fashion to their mental health. These are all good signs, but remember that the roots of patriarchy are very deep, and cutting them will take time, we just have to keep trying. You and I have to remember again and again that not only women are harmed by patriarchy, but men are also harmed.
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