At first, I wondered when exactly does one begin to crave acceptance?
Is it when we are born?
Is it when we first feel the pain of rejection?
Is this when we start getting challenged in sports?
Is it when we fall into the ever-debated “peer pressure”?
Is it when we fall in love?
Is it when we start a new job?
Is it when we become a new family member?
Is it when we move to a new city or country?
Is this when we are writing our very first book?
I believe it is all of the above, when people feel the need to be accepted, they will make leaps and bounds to succeed in that quest.
Athletes and bodybuilders will take drugs to win...winning=acceptance.
When we fall in love, our whole being wanted to feel accepted by our partner.
Authors spend hours and hours writing the exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to get their creations published.
Becoming a new member of the family, whether through marriage or adoption, will create a need to be nurtured as one who truly belongs to it.
Starting a new job is a definite need for acceptance, we need to fit in, so we can relax and devote 100% to our work.
Moving to a new country or city or even just a new neighborhood is very challenging for us, and being accepted and fitting in is a very important step in our settlement.
Let's not forget "Peer Pressure", it's hard, kids starting middle school suffer the most, hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive. The concerns they wrestled with the year before are at the fore, and there's a lot of reality to deal with. Fitting in and being accepted by your peers is more than half the battle.
Being a baby has a world of needing to be accepted and to see our parents smile when we make them happy.
The pain of not being accepted for the first time cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life and creates a scar that we grow with forever.
All these concerns, needs, and desires are within each of us who live and breathe. Some of us hunger for acceptance less than others. Some of us can't live without communion, we obsess over our thinking, and we try anything we can to fit into it.
Are you reading the words "confidence" in anything I've written here today? Oh, and it's in every sentence. The need for acceptance somehow affects our self-esteem, which in turn affects our emotional stability, from which jealousy, fear, and anxiety are born. If you know the feeling of rejection or low self-esteem, then you know how much you are controlled by the worry that follows them, and how much of your life is trapped by that other mind.
Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are just that, a 'different mind', and one feels them in war. It reminds me of a good devil and evil devil scenario. Trust me it's no fun for whoever is trapped by it, not only do they have to balance both minds, but they also feel guilty seeing what the outcome of the battle is doing in their heads. To the people around them. Constant questions one faces like in my blog FEELINGS!!!! They are another pain to an already lonely, tortured person.
So if anyone knows someone who is suffering from rejection or low self-esteem, HUG them and try to be more patient and understand that they are not having a picnic and that just saying "stop" or "just don't think about it" could stop it in a heartbeat. We all need support and acceptance to get us through our lows. Kicking someone when they're down will never help them up.
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