Top 10 things you need to know to be a good parent

To commemorate our first decade of history and circulation, ABC del Baby magazine made a special with 10 TOP, in which we tell you, teach and remember, the most important aspects in the upbringing, development, and health of your child in its first 10 years. A special that you cannot miss. Here we leave you one of those Top that will be very useful.

 

Do not forget that the complete information can be found in the 114 edition that is in circulation and that you can find in all chain stores in the country, at EL TIEMPO points of sale and specialized magazine sites.

 

1.- Love your children as they are

One of the great challenges for parents is to let the essence of their children come to the fore. It is not an easy task, because to achieve it it is necessary to balance the education that you want to offer them with individual freedom.

 

However, you can start by letting them express their feelings and respect that expression, allow them to show their tastes and value them as their own and individual. Never expect your children to be what you as a parent want, and respect and love what they are in essence.

 

Don't force them to carry your frustrations. You must accept that they choose the future of their life, that they have their own dreams and ideals. Allow them to develop their view of the world and let them explore life according to their interests. Do not try to change the essence of your children, and rather give them tools to develop it. If you love them as they are, they will love themselves too.

 

2.- Talk to them with love

The way you talk to your children will teach them how to talk to themselves, that is, it will create an internal voice with which they will evaluate and measure themselves in the future; therefore it is important that you speak to them with love and use a calm and soft voice.

 

Screaming affects children's self-esteem and mistreats them. It is always possible to correct and teach with good words, without insults, rudeness, insults or belittling her for what she does. The point is to separate a child's action from her personality.

 

A child may be foolish, but that is not why he is foolish. Never tell them that they are gross, incapable, inept, bad children or bad people. Tell them that they have been wrong and show them how to do things correctly. So also praise their achievements and successful actions and tell them as often as you can that you love them and that they can always count on you.

 

3.- Play with them

Play is the most important activity with which the child discovers the world, recognizes and expresses his feelings, learns, has fun and understands life. When you play with your children, you are also telling them that life has meaning, you are teaching them that playing makes sense and you are sharing one of the most important moments of the day with them.

 

When they play together, they feel that you love them. Just as for you work is the way you deal with your daily life, because it is what you like to do and you want to share your achievements and expectations with your family, they want to enjoy their moments of fun with you. Take them to the park, invent worlds, build houses with cardboard boxes, read stories together, go for a run, have tea with the dolls, make cookies, wake them up with lots of laughter and make their days as happy and fun as possible.

 

4.- Caress and hug them

 

Newborns need contact with the skin to feel that they are not alone in the world, but over the years we forget to express our love for our children with a hug or a caress.

Caresses help build a child's self-esteem, make him feel important and cared for when he needs it, which will allow them to establish better relationships as an adult. In addition, they will make it easier for you to establish more stable emotional bonds or attachments.

Through caresses, the brain releases the hormones of affection, affection and the ability to transmit emotions to others, a release that also combats the effects of stress.

Similarly, mothers' caresses in childhood could help children resist the use of addictive substances in adulthood, according to a study by the University of Adelaide (Australia) and Duke (USA).

 

5.- Don't try to be perfect

 

No dad knows them all, not even if he is the most expert on childhood or the educator with all the awards. Fatherhood and motherhood can lead you to discover aspects that you did not know about yourself, emotions that you had not released, and new and surprising attitudes.

 

It can also lead you to question your way of seeing life and the way you were raised. All of this is part of the growth and process of educating and raising children; That is why it is important that you allow yourself to be wrong, that you do not judge yourself so harshly for a mistake, that you do not think that you have ruined the lives of your children because one day you were in a very bad temper or you fell asleep without kissing them good night. Let yourself also be guided by your instinct and your heart, not only by what you should be and what you think can be perfect. In short, let your kids teach you.

 

6.- Laugh with them

The best thing you can do as a parent is to be happy while taking care of your children; It is important that you assume an open attitude towards life, in which you are willing to let yourself be carried away by surprise and charm.

 

Be happy with them, laugh, enjoy their recklessness, their muddy, their dirt, their game. Think that not everything is so serious, that love is also joy and fun: not because you are happy will you stop teaching or being an authority for your children.

 

And laugh at yourself, your? Primiparadas ?, your clumsiness as a father or mother, talk with them, enjoy their discoveries and let yourself be carried away by love and a good sense of humor. When you teach your children to laugh, not only are you happy, you are also giving them a very useful tool for all the moments of their life.

 

7.- Take care of your body with respect

Taking care of your child's health while he is a child is in your hands and the good treatment you give his body will be the example for him, when he is an adult, to take care of himself.

 

Keep medical appointments, follow the recommendations of professionals and follow the vaccination program. Consult the dentist. When you bathe your child and clean him, do it with love and respect, do not say bad words, do not belittle him, or compare him. Never embarrass him for being the way he is and never expose him in public to situations he does not want.

 

Brush teeth gently. Teach him that he is the sole owner of his body and that no one else can or should touch him without his permission. Let him feel textures with his hands and his skin, let him spread paint, play with the earth and in the sand. This allows him to discover the world and to know himself; After playing, have him take a bath, but tell him everything with love and without scolding him.

 

8.- Feed them with love

Food is a bond of love, it is much more than simply filling a hunger gap. Since you breastfeed your baby, you discover that feeding time is very important. While he drinks his milk, he feels your skin and your care; in the same way, when it grows, the moment of feeding must be attended with affection for its good physical and emotional development.

Organize balanced menus, according to the age of your children and share with them the moments of the meal while they are within your schedule. Try to have breakfast in their company or dinner, enjoy those moments and make sure they eat well.

If you create good eating habits for them as children, they will thank you for life. Remember that these habits are not limited to eating fruits and vegetables, they also involve teaching them that food is important, that it is a time to share with others and that it should be done and allocate the necessary time.

9.- Set limits

Children need to feel safe and that security, in addition to the love of the father and mother, of their physical care with food and health, is given by the limits with which they move in life.

Imagine that your children are standing in front of the sea and you tell them to jump into the water: they may be very afraid because they only see infinity and they don't have a point of arrival; Instead, if you stand them in front of a lake and tell them that their goal is on the other side, they will probably feel more confident about starting the feat.

Something similar happens with the basic rules of life: they give them security because they indicate under which parameters they can move. It is not about filling their lives with rules, but about setting the basic ones for coexistence such as respect, schedules and tasks, the expression of love and those that are fundamental for parents. The important thing is to be firm and enforce them.

10.- Respect their development

Each child has its own growth rate, framed in general parameters; it is good that you respect the process of your children and the age in which they are. Don't ask them to do what a 5-year-old would do at two, don't pressure them to grow faster than they should, don't treat them like babies when they can do chores on their own.

Let them go at their speed, discover life to suit them. Do not force them to learn to add and subtract when they are not ready yet or it is not a priority, do not worry about them speaking several languages ​​when they need to play the most and do not ask them to walk when they are ready to crawl by now.

It is very important that children go through all their stages, and in each one of them they learn something about themselves and about others. This allows them to grow with physical and emotional balance. Do not compare them with others, do not worry about what other people's children do and not yours, because each human being is unique and deserves to be loved for what they are.