The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your feelings. Declining hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to erotic problems such as organism pain. Such physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying erotic experience. However, many people fail to realize the full potential of later life. By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie satisfying feelings, you can better navigate problems if they arise
Educate yourself: Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of erotic issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other
Give yourself time: As you age, your feelings responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for it. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having it isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of romantic experience
Use lubrication: Often, the dryness that begins in premenopausal can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid pain — a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.
Maintain physical affection: Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.
Practice touching: The sense focus techniques that therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.
Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different positions not only adds interest to lovemaking but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman.
Write down your fantasies: This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you, and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.
Do Keel exercise: Both men and women can improve their fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a therapist about where to get these and how to use them.
Try to relax: Do something soothing together before having feelings, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga
Use a vibrator: This device can help a woman learn about her own response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.
Don't give up: If none of your efforts seem to work, don't give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your erotic problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling, satisfying life
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