Many of our problems come from our own minds. They are not caused by events, misfortunes, or other people. It is caused by our bad mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside immediately to rid yourself of the many problems each one will create for you.
1. Stop jumping to conclusions.
There are two common ways in which this practice increases human suffering. First, they think they know what will happen, so they stop paying attention and act according to their own ideas. People are the lucky people to rule. Much of what they think is wrong. That makes the action wrong again. The second aspect of this practice is playing mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they think. Not good either, great time. Many relationships are ruined by this kind of stupidity more than any other.
2. Do not imitate.
Many people create small barriers to life-threatening disasters and respond appropriately. This practice puts mountains out of the mountains and gives people problems that may or may not be so important that they are not worth worrying about anyway. Why did they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make them feel and appear more important. Whatever the reason, it is stupid and destructive.
3. Don't make rules.
A large part of those "oughts" and "shoulds" you carry are almost unnecessary. Everything they do to you makes you feel scared or guilty. What's the point? When you apply these rules, you think, close your mind with little limits and childhood rules. And when you try to force it on others, you make yourself look like a bully, a boring bore, or a haughty person.
4. Avoid lying or labeling people or situations.
The words you use can stumble you. Bad and sensitive language expresses the same taste of thinking. Forcing things into predetermined categories hides their true meaning and diminishes your senseless thinking. See what's available. Do not label. You will be amazed at what you find.
5. Stop seeking perfection.
Life is not everything or nothing, black or white. Most of the time, good enough means what it says. Please search for a complete job, and you will probably never find it. In the meantime, everyone else will look worse than they really are. Try a good relationship, and maybe you will spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental illness that will take away all your happiness and send you to seek what will never be found.
6. Don't overdo it.
One or two relapses are not signs of permanent failure. Unusual victory does not change you into a master. One event - good or bad - or even two or three does not always indicate a permanent trend. Usually, things are as they are, nothing more.
7. Don't take things for granted.
Most people, even your friends and colleagues, don't talk about you, don't think about you, or don't care about you 99% of the time. Most people in your organization or area have probably never heard of you and do not particularly want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, are not yours at all. Pretending to be theirs will make you feel worse than you need to.
8. Don't assume that your feelings are trustworthy.
Feelings are not always a good indication of how things are going. Because you hear it, that doesn't make it true. Sometimes that feeling does not come from something as deep as fatigue, hunger, irritability, or headaches. The future will not change because you feel bad — or because you feel good. Feelings may be true, but they are not.
9. Don't let life get you down. Keep practicing your hope.
If you expect bad things in your life and work, you will always find them. A bad situation is like looking at the world with distorted, ugly lenses. You see all the blame and don't ignore or underestimate everything else. It's amazing what doesn't exist until you start looking for it. After all, if you decide to look for signs of good things, you will find them too.
10. Don't hold on to the past.
This is my most important suggestion: go ahead. Most of the anger, frustration, sadness, and despair in this world come from people who cling to the pain and problems of the past. The more you change your mind, the more you will feel bad, and they will look bigger. Don't try to fight grief. Let's go on. Do that and remove most of its power to hurt you.
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