We are called a narcissistic generation. We are told that technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. But most of us don't walk around feeling like we are that great. In fact, there is one underlying emotion that overwhelming shapes of our self-image and influences our behaviour, and that is insecurity. If you could enter the mind of people around you , even the narcissistic ones , you're likely to encounter ceaseless waves of insecurity . A recent survey found that 60 percentage of women experience hurtful, self-critical thoughts on weekly basis.
In there research , father and daughter psychologist Dr.'s Robert and Lisa used an assessment toll known as the firestone Assessment for self-destructive thoughts ( FAST) to evaluate people's self attack (or critical inner voice ) along a continuum. What they found is that the most common self-critical thought people have toward themselves is that they are different - not in a positive sense , bit in some negative , alienating way . Whether our self-esteem is high or low , one thing is clear; we are a generation that compares , evaluates the judges ourselves with the great scrutiny . By understand where this insecurity comes from, why we are driven to put ourselves down and how this view point affect us , we can start to challenge and over come the destructive inner critic that limits our lives
The effect of insecurities
It's clear that there are many things that shape our critical inner voice, from negative attitudes directed towards us to attitude our parents had towards themselves . As we get older , we internalize these points of view as our own . We keep attitudes alive believing in our insecurities as we go along in life . The most common critical inner voices Dr.'s Robert and Lisa firestone found people to experience through their day include:
●YOU'RE STUPID .
● YOU'RE UNATTRACTIVE .
● YOU NEVER GET ANYTHING RIGHT.
● YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE .
● YOU'RE A FAILURE .
● YOU'RE FAT .
● WHAT'S THE POINT IN EVEN TRYING .
Like a mean coach , voice tends to get louder as we get to our goals . " YOU'RE GONNA SCRE UP ANY MINUTE . EVERYONE WILL REALIZE WHAT FAILURE YOU ARE . JUST QUITE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE" . Oftentimes, we react to these thoughts before we even realize we are having them . We may grow shy at a party , pull back from a relationship , project these attacks onto people around us or act out toward a friend , partner or our children . Just imagine what life would be like if you didn't hear any of these mean thoughts echo in your head . Imagine what reality might actually look like if you could live free of this prescribed insecurities .
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