INTRODUCTION
I don't believe a stress-free life is possible. Stress is a response to life's challenges, and a life without challenges is too boring to contemplate.
First, let's look at an example. It's a bit extreme, but it shows typical stressors well. Let's say Fred gets up in the morning, quite late, and now has to hurry to get ready.
Fred is in such a hurry that he spills his coffee on his sweater and has to change it. Then he cuts himself while shaving. He leaves home but has to come back because he forgot his briefcase. He goes to his car and realizes he forgot his keys.
Now he's on his way to work and in the middle of an hour of heavy traffic - and his mood starts to ignite when someone walks past him. He honks motorists, curses them, and arrives for work late and in a bad mood. He talks harshly to someone and is brooding and surly all morning.
His desk is covered with piles of paper, and he can't find the report he needs to work on. His inbox is overflowing and he sees that he has 36 emails to answer. He knows he is late on two projects and that his boss is not happy. He has to finish 5 tasks before the 11 am meeting, and he has meetings all afternoon.
You get the idea. His day is not going well, and he leaves home when the evening traffic peaks. He arrives home late, exhausted, completely stressed, his mind still on his late and still unfinished projects, his mailbox and emails, and all the things that have added to what he needs to do tomorrow.
His house is in a mess and he speaks curtly to his relatives. His kids didn't do things exactly as he told them to do them, so he starts yelling at them. He has a fatty and quick dinner in front of the TV and locks himself in his bubble before falling asleep, late.
Again, it's a bit extreme, but you can see by this illustration what kinds of things are stressing people out. There are plenty more of course, and I won't cover them all.
But these sources of stress can be eliminated with a little effort. Here's how to do it:
1) IDENTIFY THE CAUSES OF THE STRESS
This is the most important step of all. Indeed, identifying the things that stress you out in life is the first step in eliminating them.
Take 10 minutes to think about what stresses you out during the day. What weekly events stress you out? What people, activities, things are stressing you in your life?
Score a Top 10, see what can be eliminated, and start removing the weeds. For those that cannot be removed, find ways to make them less stressful.
2) ELIMINATE UNNECESSARY COMMITMENTS
We all have commitments in our lives, starting with our work, but also commitments relating to our children, our spouse, things to do at home, the rest of the family, our commitments as citizens, parallel work, religion, hobbies, online activities, etc.
Consider each of them, the amount of stress they produce, and the value you get from them. Completely review your commitments, and start today the steps that will lead you to the elimination of your superfluous commitments.
3) FIGHT PROCRASTINATION
Of course, we all give in to procrastination. However, be aware that letting tasks pile up will stress you out. Find ways to get on with your chores now, and be sure to handle your emails and keep your workspace clean.
4) END THE DISORGANIZATION
We are all disorganized to some extent. Even though we organize things and have a great system in place to keep them tidy, things tend to turn into chaos over time.
However, disorganization stresses us in terms of the visual disorder. Likewise, it prevents us from finding the things we need.
Take the time to keep things organized in your home, starting with your office and the papers in your house, then working on other areas.
5) FIGHT BACKWARDNESS
Being late always stresses us out. We have to hurry to be ready, and we stress all the time that we're going to be viewed negatively and be late.
Learn the habit of arriving on time, and that stress goes away. Make a conscious effort to be ready sooner, and to leave earlier. It also makes driving less stressful.
Time yourself to see how long it takes you to get ready, and how long it takes you to get somewhere. You are probably underestimating these times. As soon as you know them, you can prepare yourself so that you are ready 10 minutes earlier each time. It gives a good feeling.
6) DON'T TRY TO CONTROL THE THINGS
We are not the masters of this Universe. I know sometimes we wish we were, but acting like it is is the surest way to be stressed.
Trying to control situations and people can't work, and only serves to increase your anxiety when it doesn't. Learn to let go, and accept the way other people do things, and accept what happens in different situations.
The only thing you can control is yourself. Work on this before you consider trying to control the world. Also learn to separate yourself from tasks and delegate them. Learning to let go of our needs to control others and the situations around us is a major step in eliminating stress.
7) DON'T DO THE MULTITASKING
Having multiple tasks at the same time might seem productive, but it slows you down. This is because it prevents you from focusing on a task and completing it. Being multitasking also stresses you out.
8) ELIMINATE THE THINGS THAT DRAIN YOUR ENERGY
If you have analyzed your life (in step 1) and found the things that stress you out, you may also have noticed some things that are draining your energy.
Some things in our lives cause us to be more exhausted than others, giving us less value. Identify them, and stop them. You will have a lot more energy and a lot less stress. And happiness will flow from it.
9) AVOID DIFFICULT PEOPLE
You know who they are. If you take a minute to think about it, you can identify the people in your life - bosses, co-workers, clients, friends, family, etc. - who are making your life more difficult.
Now you can confront them and fight with them, but it will most certainly be difficult. Just delete them from your life.
10) SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE
Simplifying it is of course one of the major themes of Zen Habits. Simplify your routines, your commitments, your information consumption, your cluttered rooms, the mass of things that run through your life ... and have less stress as a result.
Organize your life first, then check out the articles on simplicity for more tips.
11) DON'T PLAN EVERYTHING
Create more free time in your life. It is not necessary to plan every minute of our lives. Learn to avoid meetings, keep large blocks of free time where you either go to work on important tasks or batch process less important tasks.
When someone asks to schedule a meeting, first try to finish it off with emails or the phone… You will like to have an open agenda.
12) SLOW DOWN
Instead of rushing through life, learn to slow down. Enjoy your food, appreciate the people around you, appreciate nature. This step alone can save you a ton of stress.
13) HELP OTHERS
It may seem contradictory to add more chores to your life by trying to help others (you already have enough to do) as you try to remove stress from your life.
However, if you had to add anything to your life, it would be this. Helping others, whether it's volunteering for a charity or just making an effort to show compassion to other people you meet, not only gives you a great feeling but also lowers your stress levels.
Of course, it doesn't work if you try to control others, or help others in a very eager and frantic way. Learn to take things calmly, to relax and have fun, and to let things happen.
14) RELAX THROUGHOUT THE DAY
It is important to take mini-breaks during your workday. Stop what you are doing, massage your shoulders, neck, head, hands and arms, stand up and stretch, walk a little, drink some water. Go outside and enjoy the fresh air and the beautiful sky.
Talk to someone you love. Life doesn't have to be all about productivity. You should also avoid all online activity during your stress-relieving activity - get away from your computer to relax.
15) QUIT YOUR JOB
This advice is extreme; probably too hard for most people and yet it can help you take the stress out of your life. In all probability, your job is your biggest stressor.
Getting out of 9 to 5, automating your income, and finding something that you really enjoy doing will lead to a positive and stressful life a lot less. Think about it a bit before you ignore this advice. There may be possibilities that you did not consider.
16) SIMPLIFY YOUR TO-DO LIST
Trying to do everything on your to-do list is definitely going to stress you out. Learn how to simplify your to-do list. Limit yourself to the most important tasks, and you'll enjoy the process even more. Plus, it will help you take the stress out of your life.
17) PLAY SPORTS
This is a common tip for reducing stress, and it's because it works… but it's also a stress prevention method. Playing sports helps relieve stress.
This allows you to have a little calm to contemplate and relax, and also to keep the line. A thinner person is better equipped to handle stress.
18) EAT HEALTHY
Of course, this goes hand in hand with sports and is an effective way to remove stress from your life.
Make sure you are healthy, and a major source of stress will go away. Additionally, I have found that greasy food puts me in a worse state of mind and can help raise my stress levels immediately. Add green vegetables and colourful fruits to your plate to have a healthy diet and a healthy life.
19) BE GRATEFUL
It may not seem as obvious as the other tips, but developing an attitude of gratitude is a way of thinking positively, eliminating negative thoughts from your life, and therefore reducing stress.
Learn to be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for the people in your life, and see it as a gift. With such a prospect, stress will gradually give way to happiness. It is a winning formula.
20) CREATE A ZEN ENVIRONMENT
It is one of the most effective ways to remove stress from your life. Take the time to clean your desk (as mentioned above); and even after you've done that, tidy up your desk and workspace.
Work things out in your home until you have created a simple, peaceful and Zen environment. It will be much less stressful to work in such an environment than in an environment where clutter and distraction prevail.
CONCLUSION
However, I believe that most of the stress in our lives is unnecessary, and can be eliminated by following a few simple (and sometimes not so simple) steps. It cannot be accomplished overnight. I've been working on it for a while now, and I haven't finished yet. But I think it's a worthwhile goal.
All the best.
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